Challenge Not Accepted
And other deep thoughts
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Deep Thoughts: Challenge Not Accepted
Another day, another silly social media challenge. Women the world over are posting black and white photos of themselves with the words “#challengeaccepted,” a tribute to the women who have supported them throughout their lives. As far as social media trends go, this one is fairly innocuous, but I confess: it rankles the iconoclast in me.
First, it should be noted that there is some debate about the origins of this trend. A 2016 version was intended to raise cancer awareness but was criticized by survivors for trivializing their suffering. Activists in Turkey argue the trend is meant to highlight the all-too-common violence against women in Turkey where murdered women are often portrayed in black and white photos. Of course, none of these causes are recognizable in the celebrity instagram posts that seem more about vanity than anything else.
Second, I bristle at the pressure to conform to social media’s conception of what it means to be a good, empowered woman. I can name lots of people who have supported me and lifted me up throughout my life—both male and female. I’m lucky to have a wonderful mother and father, sisters and brothers. But in my professional career, it happens to be that my mentors and biggest supporters are men.
I’m all for women lifting each other up, but even more than that, I’m for people lifting people up. I wouldn’t be where I was today in politics without the men in my life. (Does that make me a traitor to my gender? This is me not caring.)
One of the things I’m most grateful for is that the aforementioned mentors didn’t treat me as a member of a pre-assigned group. They didn’t hire me because of or in spite of my gender. They hired and promoted me because of my work ethic, my love of politics, and hopefully, some natural talent. They simply treated me as someone worthy of supporting and advancing. Isn’t it crazy that this sentiment is now deemed controversial?
Deep Thoughts: Best or Worst Mom Ever?
After four and half months of semi-quarantine and much hand-wringing, it’s back to daycare for our 20-month-old toddler. And while there is a lot of self-doubt… Are we doing the right thing? What if we all get COVID? What if he becomes addicted to the TV? What if that ship has already sailed? What if… I confess, the overwhelming voice in my head sounds and looks like this:
The current situation is good for no one. Yes, Aaron has learned a lot during quarantine. There’s his newfound love of foreign policy, AKA Masha and the Bear, AKA Russian propaganda. And there’s his newly acquired essential skills that will surely shepherd him through life’s hills and valleys.
Netflix: Are you still watching?
Aaron: Presses OK on the remote.
But he needs to be around other kids, and I need to be around… no one for at least a few hours a day. I’d also like it if he ate something other than barbecue potato chips for breakfast at least once a week. At least.
In a world where the new normal is depressing as hell, and COVID-related tragedy is talked about in the hundreds of thousands, my complaints are minor—but they are mine, and I’m allowed to be kvetchy even if someone else has a right to be kvetchier.
The truth is there are no good answers. Our daycare is taking all the usual precautions: Masks for the teachers, temperature checks, designated drop-off and pick-up times, extra washing of toys, etc. This is semi-comforting, but there is only so much you can do when toddlers love to touch, lick, and eat everything in sight. And the data about young kids spreading COVID are incomplete at best.
I worry about sending him and I worry about not sending him. I pester the pediatrician, and her answer sounds like the answer to a lot of questions these days: It’s a tough call. Tough calls are par for the parenting course, but I never imagined it would include decisions about a global pandemic.
As I read the raging Facebook parenting debates (never a good idea), I know that we just have to do the best we can and go from there. Sending Aaron to daycare isn’t a political statement. It’s not a declaration of my belief in science or masks or freedom. It’s just a working mom and dad clinging to sanity and trying to cope with the strange new world in which we live one day at a time.
→ Read more: Emily Oster of Brown University has been writing a ton of really interesting things about kids and COVID and all the data surrounding it (Covid-Explained)
Hot Takes 🔥
→ Will we ever hire anyone from Rutgers again? Not unless they pass a grammar test.
→ Finally, short people get our revenge.
→ Some Never Trumpers talk about saving the Republican Party; they’re basically just Democrats.
→ And the idiot award goes to… Seth Rogan for understanding nothing about Israel and still opening his big fat mouth.
Quote of the Week 💬
“I’m going to speak in animal terms. Say you are at the zoo. You see a giraffe. You see a flamingo. These two bills aren’t mateable.” — Nancy Pelosi about the ongoing coronavirus stimulus debate.